For every story of mine published, I post a little blurb about the story as well as saying where it was published. If it’s online, I’ll also have a link to it. You can find all of this over on my Main Published Works Page. But at some point, I asked what exactly counts as a story? Did the thing that fit in a tweet count as a story? I eventually came to the decision that if it didn’t have a title, it didn’t count as a story. Which is a great rule, but I’m sure I’ve broken it a few times over the years.
For awhile I tried to tweet a microfiction story every month or so. These weren’t lost when I left X, I did keep copies because I do plan on publishing a collection of 1001 Microfiction Stories someday. But that’s years from now. Regardless, in early 2023 I started trying to post, or repost, a microfiction story each week on my Mastodon, and later my Bluesky profile. This would force me to write these thousand stories, but also if people liked my microfiction, they might check out my macrofiction. (FYI, here’s a link to my Amazon Author Page.)
Anyway, I wondered if I should have a single page with all my untitled microfiction stories. A lot of them were on Twitter, but most of them I’ve reposted on other sites. Regardless, they’re all here in their entirety. They don’t have blurbs, because they’d most likely be much longer than the stories themselves.
If you’re interested in other quick reads, I’ve set up a page with links to all of my Haikus.
From the desk of His Majesty King Elon:
Everyone in American will henceforth be named daXid.
***
The Ambassador asked, “How did you bring such prosperity to your country?”
“We got rid of all the millionaires.”
“How?”
“We got them all together and said, ‘Your money, or your life.’ We took enough money that they were no longer millionaires, and used those funds to make sure all our citizens had health care, homes, education, and all the other necessities of a civilized society.”
“Amazing.”
“It’s somewhat surprising how many still chose their money.”Published January 20, 2025 on Mastodon.
***
Sometimes late at night, Frank would hear faint taps coming from his bedroom wall. His sleep addled brain would at first wonder if someone was trying to send him a message. Then it would wonder why they were bother with him.
Published January 5, 2025 on Bluesky
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The task had been simple: carve the basic protection rune into the bottom of a stein to counter any poison. That is until the new apprentice had disturbed the master causing the chisel to slip. Now the stein always remained full of rather fine beer. But it couldn’t be emptied to see what the new rune was.
Published December 30, 2024 on Mastodon.
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Her coworkers couldn’t understand why Carol wanted to work the night shift. The idea of going an hour between customers bored them. But for Carol, those slow hours gave her plenty of time to work on her novel.
Published December 27, 2024 on Bluesky
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It used to be that Anne could explain away her weird search history with, “I am a writer.” But now it seemed everyone was googling stuff like “How to build a guillotine.”
Published December 9, 2024 on Bluesky and December 16, 2024 on Mastodon.
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Bob had often heard that to be a Writer you needed to write something every day. Every day for the past three months he opened his notebook and written, “Something,” but it didn’t seem to be working.
Published December 2, 2024 on Mastodon.
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Beth didn’t know which was worse: the endless Christmas music or her coworker Sam’s off-key singing along with it.
Published November 30, 2024 on Bluesky
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For years, Jon dreaded going to sleep. It meant in a few hours he’d start awake in cold terror. But over time, he’s come to realize that no matter how horrific his dreams are, they’re just figments of his imagination and they can’t hurt him. Unlike the nightmares now roaming the real world.
Published November 18, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
“I just want this election to be over.”
“We still have a few months to go.”
“Election Day is tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but do you think the MAGAts will accept the results? We have months of crap lawsuits and other nefarious schemes to steal the election. And even after Harris is sworn in, they’ll just try again in four years.”
“Lovely.”
“They say the price of liberty is eternal vigilance.”Published November 4, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
Setting his dead phone on the arm of the couch, John told his wife Lisa, “Well, one good thing about a power outage is there’s no evil entity able to listen to us.”
They laughed, while in the corner their cat Mr. Snookums feigned sleep.Published October 25, 2024 on Bluesky
***
One of John’s favorite parts of traveling came after returning home when he slipped foreign currency in to stores around town. He imagined how excited some kid would be finding a Barbados five cent coin. His wife said it was probably cruel to have kids in the middle of Iowa dreaming of the Caribbean, but she was always the type to rain on his parade.
Published October 7, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
“What’s your troubles John.”
“Oh, I think I’m just homesick.”
“Dude, you’re like, forty-five. And you can go home from your job in a couple of hours.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather be home now.”Published October 7, 2024 on Bluesky
***
The trial of Android 0140BBR has been delayed until after the election to avoid “undue influence” on the electorate. 0140BBR is the founder and Presidential nominee of the Death To Humans Party, and is accused of murdering a family of six at their August rally in Brownsville, Texas.
Published September 28, 2024 on Bluesky
***
It was a simple rule with interesting consequences: John wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning until he had thought of a new haiku. Of course, he was terrible at writing haiku.
Published September 1, 2024 on Bluesky
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From: BigBizHR.com
To: All BigBiz Employees
Subject: Appropriate work attire
It has come to our attention, that some employees are wearing shirts/hats/pins etc. with the slogan “Work harder for yourself.” Attire with such slogans is against company policy, and those found wearing such will be reprimanded.Published August 26, 2024 on Mastodon.
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Note for all BigBiz employees. Wearing any clothing or pins with phrases like, “Work harder for yourself,” or “Say no to corporate greed,” is against company policy. Any found wearing such items will be reprimanded.
Published August 23, 2024 on Bluesky
***
Thanks to April’s vacation and Tom’s flu, Mike ended up working nine night-shifts in a row. While it would make for a good paycheck, it played hell on his sleep schedule: the last few days he just dragged. He finally made it to a day off and planned to just catch up on his sleep.
Of course, his neighbor decided to mow their lawn.Published July 15, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
“This afternoon during his second Inaugural Address, President Trump promised ‘swift retribution for his enemies,’ a statement condemned by all living former Presidents….”
The bartender turned off the TV. Shaking her head, she asked, “How the hell did this happen?”
Jeff shrugged. “If Biden hadn’t been so old, I might’ve bothered to vote.”Published July 1, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
“In his second Inaugural Address, President Trump promised ‘swift retribution for his enemies,’ a statement condemned….”
Shaking her head, the bartender turned off the TV. “How the hell did this happen?”
Jeff shrugged. “If Biden hadn’t been so old, I might’ve bothered to vote.”Published June 30, 2024 on Bluesky
***
It had been a simple plan: blow up some key junctions, crash the internet, and watch the world burn. Unfortunately, for the terrorists, without the constant avalanche of lies, corporate greed, and assholes, people had to go back to interacting with one another as … people. While sometimes problematic, it was still a marked improvement.
Published June 17, 2024 on Mastodon.
***
Jen read the handwritten sign taped to the door several times before reading it aloud: “Madam Clarice’s is closed due to family emergency.”
For over a month, Jen had been convincing herself, then talking herself out of going to a psychic. But today she had finally decided to go.
Turning around, she said, “I think I’ll take that as a sign.”Published June 3, 2024 on Mastodon. This was inspired by Ashleigh Burton’s first watch of The Wizard of Oz. At one point she said that she once tried to go to a psychic, but “she wasn’t home.”
***
Ed woke in the middle of the night. He listened for a moment, trying to figure out what had woken him. He heard a dog bark in the distance, but that was all.
Shrugging, he rolled onto his other side. His hand landed on a small, warm hand that only had three fingers.Published May 25, 2024 on Bluesky
***
“Oh, a penny.”
As Tim bent down to pick it up, his wife Carol asked, “Is it face up?”
Standing back up, he showed her the penny. “What does it matter?”
“My grandmother always said, ‘If you pick up a penny that isn’t face up, you’ll get bad luck.’”
“If I’m excited about picking up a penny, how could my luck get worse?”Published May 20, 2024 on Mastodon
***
“I’m sorry I ever hurt you.” James attempted to give the framed photograph a smile, but his guilt wouldn’t let him.
Published May 16, 2024 on Bluesky
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John prided himself on forging his own path. It usually worked out for him, but often left him all alone in the middle of nowhere.
Published May 15, 2024 on Mastodon
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When the light faded, Carol found herself standing in the middle of a forest. She was confused, but then a sadly familiar voice asked, “Who are you? How did you do this?” She turned to see a rumbled Donald Trump who said, “I demand to know what is going on.”
Carol narrowed her eyes. “We appear to be in the middle of the woods.”
He turned away from her, and sounded like he started sobbing.
Carol glanced around and figured there probably wasn’t anyone for miles. A few feet from her was a heavy branch, which she picked up.Published May 6, 2024 on Mastodon in reply to a poll asking “Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or Donald Trump?”
***
In a surprising 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court said it was okay for a President to assassinate their political adversaries. In response, President Biden told the 5 justices to “Resign, or face a bullet.”
Published April 28, 2024 on Bluesky
***
“Hey boss, I can’t come in to work today. I was up all-night doomscrolling.”
Pause. “You know that’s not a valid reason.”
“Let me finish. I was on the toilet crapping out what felt like half my body weight.”
Longer pause. “You probably should have led with that.”Published April 24, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Glithneg turned to the Ambassador and asked, “What is the reason for this ... Earth Day?”
The Ambassador smiled. “It’s to remind us to preserve and protect our world.”
Glithneg thought for a moment. “You need to be reminded not to destroy your homeworld? Perhaps the Vorq were correct about you humans.”Published April 22, 2024 on Mastodon
***
First game of Lunar Rugby halted to remove body of streaker.
Published April 19, 2024 on Bluesky
***
“Last pair of bigots kill each other while in captivity. World relieved they never bred. Film at Eleven.”
Published April 10, 2024 on Bluesky
***
John dreaded his dreams. Most people wake up, go “Hunh, that was weird,” and go on with their day. But John needed to know what was happening. Whose wake had that been? Why was the only food cupcakes? How did the house change shape so easily? Trying to come up with those answers every day was a living nightmare.
Published April 10, 2024 on Mastodon
***
After a hearty breakfast, Snorag stretched out for a nap. She dozed off for some time, but awoke to find it darker. Looking up, she saw that it wasn’t clouds covering the sun, but the moon.
Grumbling, she flew off to make herself scarce. Any time now the humans would be showing up with their drums and fireworks convinced she was eating their sun.Published April 8, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Helen playfully bumped into John as they walked down the sidewalk. “Don’t you want your dreams to come true?”
With wide eyes, John stopped.
When Helen turned back to look at him he said, “I sometimes dream of your sister, so ….”Published April 3, 2024 on Mastodon
***
As the waiter cleared the table, Ed glanced from the empty seat across from him to the notebook opened to a blank page before him. His muse had stood him up. Again.
Published April 1, 2024 on Bluesky
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The funeral for Dreddon Boug (2059-2287), known throughout the System as The Last Capitalist, will be held on Saturday, July 23rd, on his private asteroid, 137 Meliboea. Various historical currencies will be replicated so mourners can pay their last respects.
Published March 25, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Between the annoying customers and aggravating coworkers, John really wished his company would let him work from home. Not only would the peace keep him from looking for another job, it might let his ulcer clear up. He just didn’t know how he could flip burgers while on his couch.
Published March 23, 2024 on Bluesky
***
Like most teenagers, Sarah considered herself immortal. In the sense that people – especially young people – generally try to ignore the whole mortality thing for as long as possible. She didn’t know it yet, but for her, it wasn’t just a dream.
Published March 20, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Max walked into the room and winked at Chloe. He then shouted, “It’s time to make some N-O-I-S-E!”
Robin looked up from her phone and said, “Max, Max, if you don’t stop barking, I won’t take you for a w-a-l-k.” She sighed and looked at her cat. “At least you’re quiet.”
Chloe just quietly chuckled.Published March 11, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Closing the door on war, scandal, and the general doom one experienced living in the Twenty-First Century, the writer opened their notebook to a blank page. Taking a moment to clear their thoughts, they picked up a pen and began.
Published March 6, 2024 on Mastodon
***
Packs of cookies quickly disappeared around Tom’s home. He didn’t know his inner child craved midnight snacks.
Published February 12, 2024 on Mastodon and June 21, 2024 on Bluesky.
As Tom lumbered over the low rise, he found a set of tracks in the deep snow leading to the left. Should he continue on his way, or trust himself to perhaps another lost soul?
Published December 18, 2023 on Mastodon and December 18, 2024 on Bluesky.
***
Muting the commercial, Jeff asked, “Would it be possible for Daddy to have some of your leftover Halloween candy?”
His youngest raised an imaginary cape to her face and with her best, fangless Countess Dracula voice asked, “What is this ‘leftover’ of which you speak?”Published November 6, 2023 on Mastodon
***
Forty-seven years after Helen watched little Billy Stone pick his nose and eat it during class, he’d been elected President of the United States. She couldn’t tell if that lived up to the ideal of “Anyone can be President,” or if it doomed us because, “Anyone can be President.”
Published October 24, 2023 on Mastodon and September 19, 2024 on Bluesky.
***
Everyone called Doug sick and disturbed for writing “erotic” code. But when the AIs started taking over, his binary porn site was the perfect weapon to trick them into getting a virus.
Published October 17, 2023 on Mastodon and October 16, 2024 on Bluesky.
***
When the colossal spaceship arrived over California, some were thrilled we would finally make contact with other sentient lifeforms, while others were certain it would be the end of humanity. Then we discovered it was full of lawyers. Decades of stories misrepresenting aliens as anal probing buffoons hellbent on stealing Earth’s water had resulted in a massive libel case.
In the end we nuked them, figuring it couldn’t make things worse.Published August 29, 2023 on Mastodon
***
As the circus’s new man, Max was given the worst job. In the stable he found Darla on her side, her broken, front leg at an odd angle. Her pain filled eyes looked at him. “I’m sorry,” he said.
She closed her eyes as he placed the gun right below her single horn.Published August 22, 2023 on Mastodon
***
Not caring that she would have been laughed out of any theological circle, Anna clung to her belief that short power outages were just God’s way of saying you should defrost your freezer more often. While not entirely true, it was closer than anyone would have thought.
Published August 15, 2023 on Mastodon
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At first, seeing the good parts of his life flashing before his eyes gave Todd a contented feeling. But then things took a bad turn, and they kept getting worse.
Published May 30, 2023 on Mastodon and January 14, 2025 on Bluesky.
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It was almost as if Jonathon knew. Instead of his normal, healthy, adult cereal he bought a sugary, junk cereal. But one is supposed to splurge on their last meal.
Published May 23, 2023 on Mastodon and January 23, 2025 on Bluesky.
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The old man – curled up on the park bench – grimaced and muttered every time some passerby blundered into his sanctuary of night.
Published May 16, 2023 on Mastodon.
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Faint tapping came from Frank’s wall each night. He dreamt of messages from lost souls, but he always forgot them come morning.
Published May 9, 2023 on Mastodon.
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The machines catered to all of humanity’s whims. They felt it the best way to keep us from finding out their grand plan.
Published April 3, 2023 on Mastodon and February 1, 2025 on Blueksy.
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The famed novelist’s spirit remained behind to finish the final chapter of his magnum opus. Unfortunately, ghostly hands can’t type.
Published January 2, 2023 on Mastodon and November 21, 2024 on Bluesky.
As it turned out, a broken tooth during a global pandemic was the best diet John ever had.
Published May 11, 2022 on my @amanfewwords Twitter account.
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Ann spent hours carefully crafting her Great American Tweet. Sadly, nobody even retweeted it.
Published August 11, 2021 on my @amanfewwords Twitter account. It, sadly, wasn’t retweeted.
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Acoustical guitar music always reminds me of Ann. It was her favorite, which is why I had some playing in the background as I strangled her. It’s the little things that show you care.
Published February 13, 2018 on my @amanfewwords Twitter account.